Not too long ago United was the worst organization in the world.  Just the worst.  They made Neo-Nazi groups shrug their collective shoulders and say, “Those guys really have an image problem.”  United Airlines spent an entire week poking itself in the eye not with just one sharp stick, but with dozens of sticks.  They were running around taking the sharps sticks out of other organizations’ hands just to poke themselves in the eye.  It was crazy.

Still, you might remember my post from a month or two ago complaining about American Airlines and their batshit crazy (that’s not a swear – it’s a technical term) in-flight WiFi prices.  Well, at least United isn’t American Airlines.  Here are their prices:

Six months ago I would have said $5 for one flight was insane. Now it seems downright reasonable.

For what it’s worth, I still didn’t pay for it.  I just take my cell phone out of airplane mode and use it like I’m on the ground. No crashes yet.

I’m kidding.

Or am I?

Anyway, if you are wondering what a year in my job is like, I can sum it up in one picture:

This thievery is in retaliation for providing keys that deactivate if I get them within three feet of my phone. Or car key fob. Or ATM card. (All things that have deactivated keys on me in the last year).

Each of those keys represents anywhere between one night and two months away from home.  In glamorous locations like Missouri.  And Ellsworth.  And Missouri.  And Florida.  And Missouri.

But, a few of them are from my vacation in Florida, so don’t count those.  Although at least one of the places we stayed in Key Largo had an actual key.  Like, you know, metal keys?  Wait, maybe the keys are in the Keys because…never mind.  I lost my train of thought.

Because I love you, my readers, I will leave you with yet another granddaughter picture.

We’re at NASA. We turned down an offer to be the first grandfather-granddaughter team in space. Too many things to get done down here.

I recognize that I am supposed to be posting farming stories on here and that I made a promise to do something and then bailed on it like a terrible divorced dad from an after school special. Is that still a thing?  Do they make after school specials anymo really?  If not, how do kids learn about important life lessons such as how Jodie Foster would handle getting her period? 
Too much?  Ok.
But I can’t be inside blogging all the time like a damned bookworm when I have recently purchased this:

To clarify, I purchased the tractor, not the baby. However, my granddaughter is the other 50% of my lack of blogging. Toddlers, it turns out, are extremely needy. Terrible farm hands and always wanting you to take care of them. 
Anyway, here’s a typical dinner scene since Layla decided she doesn’t like baby food, despite the fact that she doesn’t have teeth and can’t handle a lot of solid food. 

But I’m going to rally. This blog thing is going to get back on track, I promise. Right after I nap.